In recent years, conversations about Black love have gained traction in mainstream media, social movements, and cultural spaces. At the same time, interracial relationships are at an all-time high, particularly in multicultural societies like Canada, the U.S., and the U.K. But as both of these narratives grow, so does a lingering question:
Does celebrating Black love mean rejecting interracial relationships?
Some argue that championing Black love is a necessary response to the historical erasure of Black relationships. Others feel that the conversation creates an unspoken tension—where dating outside the Black community is seen as a betrayal rather than a personal choice.
In this blog, we’ll explore:
Whether Black love and interracial love are truly at odds
How colonial history and colorism impact these relationships
The role of non-Black partners in anti-racism
And whether colonizers really "invented" interracial love
Let’s talk about it.
Is Black Love Anti-Interracial Love?
Black love is about reclaiming what was stolen. It’s about healing from a history where Black families were broken apart—whether through slavery, colonization, or systemic barriers like mass incarceration. When Black love is celebrated, it’s an affirmation of resilience.
However, in some spaces, the movement has also been used to shame interracial relationships. Some Black individuals in interracial relationships report feeling alienated, as if their love is less “valid” or “authentic” because their partner isn’t Black. Also on the flip side, non-Black partners also report,
“The constant stereotypes and mean looks I get when we’re together—I get cut-eye from Black women and he gets dirty looks from Asian men”,
says a Filipina-Canadian woman married to an African American living in Canada.
But here’s the reality: Black love and interracial love are not enemies. Supporting Black couples doesn’t mean rejecting couples who come from different backgrounds. The real issue is whether love—Black or interracial—is rooted in respect, equality, and mutual understanding.
Colorism, Fetishization, and the Interracial Dating Divide
One of the most complex aspects of this conversation is colorism. The preference for lighter skin—often tied to colonial history—still shapes who people choose to date, consciously or subconsciously.
For example, some Black men (and women) have been accused of only dating outside their race due to internalized anti-Blackness. This fuels the perception that interracial relationships are sometimes less about genuine connection and more about escaping Blackness.
At the same time, fetishization is a major problem in interracial relationships. Black women are often hypersexualized, while Black men are frequently reduced to stereotypes about their physicality. If someone is dating outside their race because of these stereotypes, that’s not love—that’s objectification.
The key question is: Are you dating someone because you love them, or because of what they symbolize?
What Role Do Non-Black Partners Play?
Interracial relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. In a world where racism still exists, non-Black partners have a responsibility to engage in anti-racism work.
This means:
Acknowledging the unique challenges Black partners may face in society
Calling out racism within their own families and communities
Understanding how their own privilege may show up in the relationship
A non-Black partner who ignores race or "doesn't see color" is not engaging in a healthy interracial relationship. Love should never be an excuse for dismissing real-world inequalities.
Past to Present
Growing up in the 80s, I saw firsthand how much my father had to prove as a Black man in an interracial relationship with a white woman, and how much my mother was shit on as an Italian woman with a Black man. There were always unspoken (and sometimes spoken) expectations—he constantly had to justify his worth, and prove he wasn’t “taking advantage” of her, and she had to reassure people that their love was real.
Even today, my Black Caribbean cousin faces similar challenges with her white Italian boyfriend. As much as he loves her, his understanding of race in North America is limited—he doesn’t recognize the microaggressions she faces, and she often has to explain things that should be obvious. Whether it’s why a joke about her hair isn’t funny, why she feels uneasy in certain spaces, or why she can’t just “let things go” when faced with racial bias, the burden of education always falls on her.
These experiences aren’t unique. Many Black people in interracial relationships end up doing the emotional labour of educating their partners. And while love can be a space for learning and growth, it shouldn't come at the cost of one person always having to explain their lived reality.
Did Colonizers Invent Interracial Love?
A claim that circulates on social media suggests that colonizers “invented” interracial relationships—essentially, that love across racial lines only happened because of power imbalances.
This is both true and false.
The Reality:
Interracial relationships existed long before colonization. Trade, migration, and cultural exchange led to relationships across ethnic groups. African, Indigenous, and Asian communities all had intermarriages long before European conquest.
In the 16th century, both monarchy and church authorities encouraged mixed marriages between Moriscos (Muslim converts to Catholicism) and Old Christians due to several political, religious, and social motives.
However, European colonial powers changed the way interracial relationships were structured.
During slavery and colonization, many interracial relationships were not consensual. Enslaved Black women were raped by white slave owners, producing mixed-race children who were often still enslaved.
Laws were created to control mixed-race populations—like the “one-drop rule” in the U.S. or caste systems in Latin America.
Interracial relationships were politicized—sometimes encouraged to maintain control (as seen in some colonies) or outlawed to preserve racial hierarchies.
So no, colonizers didn’t invent interracial love, but they certainly weaponized it for control.
How Do We Move Forward?
If we truly want to move past these divisions, we need to address the real problems:
✔️ Anti-Blackness within and outside the community
✔️ Colorism’s impact on dating preferences
✔️ Fetishization in interracial relationships
✔️ Non-Black partners taking accountability in anti-racism
At the same time, we need to stop seeing Black love and interracial love as opposing forces. Love should be a space for healing, not division.
Bill Burr, Zoë Saldana, and Serena Williams have all shared unique perspectives on interracial marriage, shaped by their personal experiences and public visibility. Burr, known for his sharp humour, dismisses the idea that interracial relationships should be treated differently, emphasizing that marriage is simply marriage, regardless of race. "Somebody asked me, ‘What’s it like being married to a Black woman?’ I was like, ‘I don’t know, it’s just being married.’"
Saldana and her husband, Marco Perego, challenge societal norms in their own way, particularly with Perego taking her last name—an act that defies traditional expectations of masculinity. "I tried to talk him out of it. I told him, ‘If you use my last name, you’re going to be emasculated by your community of artists, by your Latin community of men, by the world.’ And he looked at me and said, ‘Ah, Zoë, I don’t give a s**.’"* Their relationship is built on mutual respect and a rejection of rigid gender roles.
Meanwhile, Williams has spoken openly about how her marriage to Alexis Ohanian defied her own expectations, showing that love transcends race.
"I never thought I would have married a white guy, either, so it just goes to show you that love truly has no color, and it just really goes to show me the importance of what love is."
She acknowledges the racial dynamics in their relationship and uses it as an opportunity to educate Ohanian on racial injustices.
"Literally all I tell Alexis is, 'Well, you know, there’s such a difference between white people and black people.' He always gets to hear about the injustices that happen; that wouldn’t happen if I were white."
Together, these three couples highlight different but equally powerful narratives about interracial marriage—normalization, partnership, and the breaking of cultural barriers.
Final Thoughts: A Love That Heals
The truth is, love is political whether we want it to be or not. History has shaped the way we view relationships, but it doesn’t have to define them.
If you’re in a Black relationship—celebrate and nurture it.
If you’re in an interracial relationship—make sure it’s built on respect and admiration.
And if you’re committed to love in any form—make sure it’s a love that heals, not divides.
Would love to hear about your experiences with Black or interracial love in the comments.
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